|
The Joke Thread
August 04, 2005 06:20AM
|
Registered: 15 years ago
Posts: 380 |
I thought that it would be a cool idea to start this sort of thread, basically tell a joke that you heard and think is good.
I'll start...
"Why are pirates called pirates?"
A: "Because they ARRRREEEE (prononced in a really 'arrr' like piraty way)"
(Kinda lame I know but its a start)
Si
'Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them' - Aristotle
Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT
Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT
what happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder??
he got a little behind in his work.
.amy.
too many times ive seen a rose die on the vine.
somebodys heart gets broken- usually its mine.
here's an awful one...
where do we usually find paraplegic people???
at the same place we left them...
So there was this cellist that was first chair in the local orchestra. He found a genie and for his first wish he wished he was in an even better spot. POOF! He was first chair in the CSO. SO he thought to himself he could do better so he wished it again. POOF! He's first chair in the Berlin Phylharmonic. So he thinks to himself and wonders what would happen if he wished it again since he was the best cellist in the world. He wishes again and POOF! He's back in his original orchestra as last chair violin.
---Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost, Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost, What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time? What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind---
I don't get it.
What happened when I guy walked into a bar?
He said ouch.
~*wOOt!*
Oh, i've got the best joke.
So two penguins are sitting in a tub. Once says to the other "could you please pass the soap?"
The other penguin replies "what do I look like, a type writer?"
Think about that for a while.
---Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost, Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost, What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time? What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind---
This is great and its not even a joke, just think that it is incredibly funny:
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.
US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.
CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!
US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!
CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Si
'Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them' - Aristotle
You win. Hahaha.
Post Edited (08-05-05 08:10)
haha i heard that one b4 and music dude as a violinist i totally agree with your joke 
two muffins in an oven
on turns to the other and says, "Flip it's hot in here isn't it"
the other screams, "Bloody hell a talking muffin!!!!"
How many basses does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they can't reach that high...
"I love acting, its so much more real than life" Oscar Wilde
Horse, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
-Mike
 
Go listen to my band. We're awesome.
http://www.myspace.com/rosencrantzny
weallgotwoodandnails
What's green and sits in the corner?
A naughty lime.
Have you ever wonderd why you get an erection when you look in the mirror?
It's because you're a cunt.
Gotta love txt jokes eh
Wes I really don't get yours at all and I've been thinking about it for a good 5 minutes now. Please explain?
~*wOOt!*
The penguin one or the cellist one? Well either way with the cellist one it's just saying they suck, you can really replace the instruments with any. As for the other joke, you just have to think on it a bit.
Post Edited (08-07-05 09:51)
---Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost, Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost, What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time? What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind---
Explain the penguin one please, I still don't get it
Si
'Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them' - Aristotle
Ahhhhh!!!!! hahahahaha!!! That penguin joke is BRILLIANT
yea i dont get the penguin one either. someone explain it please!!!
really it makes zippo sense
Yeah I don't get it AT ALL either. Guess I just don't know my penguins.
~ Sofi ~
"And so tomorrow there will be another number for the one who had a name."
Haha I can't believe so many of you don't know the trick behind that penguin joke. Here's another one you can think about for awhile:
So a penguin and a polar bear are sitting on an iceberg, the penguin turn to the polar bear and says "No soap, radio" and they both dive into the water.
the penguin joke is on you
i ruined it :-P
Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT
Haha, I think I get the penguin joke (if not then this is going to sound really dumb). Is it that you find it funny when you tell the joke because there is no joke and you just see how people react???
Si
'Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them' - Aristotle
Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT
that is DULL. whats the point in a joke that isnt actually funny jesus christ i could say anything absurd and noone would laugh so whats the point?!
Oh it's one of THOOOOOse jokes. They suck.
Eg. Two cookies are rolling round a hill. One says to ther other, "Where do you live?" The other replies, "I'm not telling you, or you'll steal my washing!"
Suckitude.
~ Sofi ~
"And so tomorrow there will be another number for the one who had a name."
Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT
|
|
