The Joke Thread

i laughed at the cookie one but not the penguin ones

Yer I have to aggree the penguin joke does kinda suck. Although I did tell it to someone and it was funny to see how they faked a laugh at it.





Si

'Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them' - Aristotle

I love absurd humor. However, to tell these jokes to someone, or to see them typed out, I don't think they are that funny. As a comic strip or something animated, it would work a lot better.

Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT

What you do is you have a person or two in on it, so they laugh like you just told the best joke in the world, and the target of the jokes has no idea what to do. The look on their face can be priceless.

-Mike





Go listen to my band. We're awesome.

http://www.myspace.com/rosencrantzny
weallgotwoodandnails

Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT

Yep, what Mike said. The best was we did that to this kid back in sophomore year, and at graduation we were reminiscing and he actually mentioned that and asked us to explain the joke cause he still didn't get it.

Wait I still don't get it. So... there really is no joke?



~*wOOt!*

The whole point is the person you tell it to think's there is reasoning behind it and that they just don't get it. Then they spend a lot of time wracking their brains and such while the teller secretly laughs at them.



---Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost, Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost, What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time? What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind---

It's not a joke, it's a scheme.



~ Sofi ~

"And so tomorrow there will be another number for the one who had a name."

and it fooled us all....

Anyways back to the humor this is one of my favorites from this site I found a ways back

At a rehearsal, the conductor stops and shouts to the bass section: "You are out of tune. Check it, please!"

The first bassist pulls all his strings, says, "Our tuning is correct: all the strings are equally tight."

The first violist turns around and shouts, "You bloody idiot! It's not the tension. The pegs have to be parallel!"

the site is http://www.mit.edu/people/jcb/jokes/ If you're a musician go, it's great.



---Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost, Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost, What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time? What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind---

haha I get it! They're both wrong! Here's mine:

I'm a fermatta, hold me!



~*wOOt!*

Haha, that fermata joke is my favorite one ever!

Here's my favorite music joke:

Why do they call a viola a Bratche in German?

Because thats the sound it makes when the violist sits on it.

:-D

Here's my favorite non-music joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and head into their tents to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

::snickers::

With love,
Caitlin

Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT

Hahahahaha. I love jokes. The homes and Watson was mad funny. The cows one cute.

Why did the chicken cross the road?






To get to the other side!



~*wOOt!*

A panda walks into a restaurant. He sits down and orders himself dinner. When hes done, he gets up, pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the restaurant. As he leaves, he leaves a book open on his table. The bartender, who had been hiding behind the bar during the shooting, is curious and walks over to see what the panda left. He sees that it's a encyclopedia thats opened to Panda. He reads "Panda. Known to eat shootes and leaves."

not my best one, but i'll spare you some of the dirtier ones. oh yea, the Holmes one was funny



Rock on...
Kevin

I wanna be with you forever, and tomorrows not too late...

"Beware the fury of a patient man" ~John Dryden

Hahahaha all these jokes just make me laugh. Here's mine for the day:


"Your mother is so stupid she walked into an antique shop and asked what's new?"



~*wOOt!*