Funny as hell and all too true.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to Lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added Vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until Red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surf! Aces in shower

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.




HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror * Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh, And....woo!!!

By far the worst thing about showering is when you bend down to turn the taps off and the soggy shower curtain that's been draped around you the whole time suctions itself to your ass.

That's the worst.



Post Edited (04-07-06 10:52)

I would absolutely love some jaffa cake body wash. And new smelling shampoo. Seriously, Herbal Essences no longer meets my nose's standards. This is pretty damn true though. *Goes to take 30 minute shower*



~ Sofi ~

"And so tomorrow there will be another number for the one who had a name."

i admire my body in the mirror. and walk around naked. and throw things on the floor.

all i need is a penis

alpo wrote:

> all i need is a penis

I'm sure it won't be hard for you to find one.

"If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound."


easily my favourite part, i laughed for like 5 minutes straight



Rock on...
Kevin

I wanna be with you forever, and tomorrows not too late...

"Beware the fury of a patient man" ~John Dryden

HAHAHAHA.
thanks truehart

There were girls that peed in the shower at the dorm... it was great, made the whole room in there smell like pee. Good thing I wore shower shoes.

I don't do any of those special treatment things in the shower... but I don't wear make up either... I'm the get up and go type person. Haha, I've also done the nose blowing into my hands thing too. Yummy.



"It's not always rainbows and butterflies it's compromise that moves us along"

true, I don't even shampoo everyday. I lather hair and everything with just "Suave" [Edite:"Caress"] bar soap. If I brushed in the shower, I'd probably use bar soap too.

And I admit, I pee in the shower and am damn proud of it, one reason I haven't taken a bath in my tub for 6 years.

oh and woo woo, i also dance a lot naked in the mirror, like the robot or something ridiculous.



Post Edited (04-09-06 22:53)

That was a little to much information man

The fact that masturbation isn't included as step 3 and 6 disappoints me.

-Mike





Go listen to my band. We're awesome.

http://www.myspace.com/rosencrantzny
weallgotwoodandnails

The worst is if someone took a really hot shower before you and the bathroom is all wet and musty and the rug is still wet, You then have to shower after them!! eee!! Scott this post brought me bag from the dead! Im back!!! lol So funny!!!