To the girls of the forum...

I have a girl friend who is in an absolutely terrible relationship, why she is still with this guy i will never know, she says she wants to break it off but "doesn't have the courage."

She called me last night to tell me that he had basically called her a slut, and that they were fighting again (not a suprise). Then he turns around and wants to get engaged (which she doesn't want.) So my question is, as a friend, what do I do?

I have half a mind to kick the guys ass for putting her in tears the way he does, but I think that may just make matters worse. Is there a way to make her realize she needs to just do it, or she'll never be happy again? Any suggestions from anyone would be greatly appreciated.



~Kevin~

I'm not a girl, but as a guy who has been through this kind before, all I have to say is: Kick seven shades of sh*t out of him!



Post Edited (04-28-06 13:04)

do whatever to get her out of it
she wont listen
but she'll thank you for trying whenever she does down the line

Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT

what I tried to explain to her the other night is for someone that is in love with you, why are they calling you a "slut" .... the guy is freaking psychotic.... and he definitely doesn't deserve her, he just sucks the life right out of her.... and Genesis, I really like your idea, but I'd rather do it to him than her... haha



~Kevin~

Talk to her, support her on hers desicion and kick the other guy ass, he cant thread a woman like that, despite she is your friends, in general he cant do that, is a woman, break his fucking faceeee, no woman deserves cry for a bot who thread hers like that, he's an stupid man, she doesnt deserve that. . .



"RESISTENCIA ESTUDIANTIL - VIVA LA UNIVERSIDAD!"

Just keep reassuring her that she deserves more and tell her it'll be liberating and the world will be lifted off her shoulders. Assure her that she does have the courage and that you'll be there for her through out the whole thing...of course then you really have to be there...

id say talk to her & then talk to the guy & tell him if he pulls that **** again your going to beat his ass...if it comes to that she may not be too happy at first but shell thank you later on



Mike Mc--



Myspace.com/macattack42691

Ohhh i love this phorum, it has the perfect balance beetwen "love" and "violence" HAHAHAHA this phorum rocks =D



"RESISTENCIA ESTUDIANTIL - VIVA LA UNIVERSIDAD!"

hahahaha.... for some reason love and violence makes me think of the sex pistols....hahahGiuseppe wrote:



~Kevin~

Ohhh when i think abut sex pistols i can think on robert downey junior that makes me think in martha stewwart... dont think too much people that can make crazy (theres a proverb about it, but i can remember it, its like "the one who thinks too much, got crazy" i dont know everything...



"RESISTENCIA ESTUDIANTIL - VIVA LA UNIVERSIDAD!"

Take her to bed with you and make love to her like crazy, show her that you're a better lover than him and she'll forget about him in a heartbeat. Cos obviously you're already a better person than this other jerkface.

Only problem is, you'll end up with a chick that wants you bad and then you'll have to break her heart cos you're just friends... right. She learns a lesson, you get laid. The worlds a simple place.

/endworstadviceever

Hahahahaha.... I dunno if sex is the answer, but thanks for the advice...hahha



~Kevin~

hahahahahaha



"RESISTENCIA ESTUDIANTIL - VIVA LA UNIVERSIDAD!"

As much as you might feel you are close enough to her to be, you are not in their relationship and have no right to end it, And if you just make her end it by somehow getting her to trust you that your right, she'll probably end up blaming you for it not working out (because we are fragile and silly.)

That's not to say you should stand back and let your friend mess up her life. But you have to persuade HER that it's the right thing to do, and make her see that through clear eyes. Because at the end of the day, it's her relationship, her decision, and all you can do is help her to make the best one that she can.



~ Sofi ~

"And so tomorrow there will be another number for the one who had a name."

"she'll probably end up blaming you for it not working out" ? .. wtf? If Kevin gets her to brake up with her boyfriend, she should be thankful. If Kevin makes her trust him that what he's thinking is right, then she would also think the same and therefore she would have no reason to be mad or sad for breaking up with that stupid ****.

"Because at the end of the day, it's her relationship, her decision" .. maybe it's not. I know a guy in my class that had the same problem with a girl and her boyfriend. And in that relationship the boyfriend made all the decisions. She had nothing to say about anything. She couldn't see whoever she wanted, she was bearly home, she didn't talk to her father in 6 mounths 'cause her father thought that her boyfriend was a bad influence and she didn't have the courage to break up with him. But my friend helped her and finally she broke up with him. But that wasn't enough. She wasn't able to meet new guys 'cause everytime she did, her ex boyfriend would kick their ass.

So maybe it's not this girls decision after all. I think she needs help breaking up with this guy, and I think Kevin is the one.

1. Yeah, because people who've just been screwed over and had their heart's messed up with are really logical.

2. You can't just step in and lead someone's life for them. Sure she might want help, and I'm not saying don't give it to her. But you can't just say, "Oh don't worry about it, I'll kick his ass and you'll never have to worry about him again," 'cos what happens next time? Sure she needs support, but taking a problem away from someone isn't helping them; if they don't sort it, it's still there. Talk it through with her, help her see it's something she needs to do, let her come to that decision, go with her when she decides to do it, stick around afterwards. It'd help her no end but she still remains in control of her life, and you can't take that away from people.

This is far too complicated, I dunno if any of that even applys directly to your circumstances, Kevin, so I'm sorry if it doesn't. And All Rounder, in the least offensive way possible, I don't care if you think my advice sucks. If you don't like it, you simply don't take it, simple as that. I'm not gonna argue with you that it's right or wrong because there's nothing to hold that against since it's neither.



Post Edited (05-01-06 17:40)

~ Sofi ~

"And so tomorrow there will be another number for the one who had a name."

Message deleted on 2015-09-05 06:30:16 PDT

I want her to realize that she's not being treated the way she deserves, that's the problem I think, I think she thinks she doesn't deserve any better, which is definitely not the case. I mean, my feelings aside, this guy is not good enough for her, but if he treated her fine, that would be straight, but since he doesn't, I have a problem with him.



~Kevin~

You should listen to The Flavour of the week from American hi - fi dude =)



"RESISTENCIA ESTUDIANTIL - VIVA LA UNIVERSIDAD!"

<<Hahahahaha.... I dunno if sex is the answer, but thanks for the advice...hahha>>

*SLAP* HOW DARE YOU! Sex is ALWAYS the answer. And I have the same problem. Except that I do indeed want to have sex with her. And alot more too.

I mean, I have feelings for the girl, but those are on the backburner right now, her hapiness is more important to me, and I know she isn't happy. Whenever they fight, then I talk to her like a day later, she tells me about the fight, and then when I suggest that she bring up how she feels about what he does she's like, "well we aren't fighting now, so I don't wanna make matters worse." So then I ask her to bring it up the next time they do fight, but she always claims to forget. The problem is that the girl is absolutely terrified of conflict, and he is a control freak. I'm worried he abuses her emotionally and verbally. (I would know if he did phsycially and I would hospitalize him if I found out he was.)

Just at a loss at how to help her get up the courage to end something she is not happy about.

Oh and Giuseppe, I love that song, but man is it old school...hahha.



~Kevin~

Class of '01. Good times...

yea...I was in my freshman year of high school when that came out...hahaha



~Kevin~