ot:Who watching YOU (it's a joke)

JESUS IS WATCHING

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his
sack, a strange,
disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised
himself
a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began
searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could
disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice
.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on
a parrot.

"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."


The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird
Moses."

"The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."

tee hee

aw that was kinda cute


-amy
nine days of rain

"dude, i'm old" ~jeremy

Haha.

_____________________________
"Live for the Dream"
SKETCH

lol

i got one i got one i got one

this guy goes into a whore house. he goes to the woman up front and he's like, "how much" and she says "100 dollars, you pick your girl." he pays and she gives him a black condom and shows him in. he gets in and he sees this woman chained to the bed lying perfectly still and he's all "**** yeah." he goes and has his way with her and he comes out. the woman up front goes "was it good?" he says "yeah, but i've got one question. why'd you give me a black condom?" she looks at him and says, "don't you have any respect for the dead?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

-Mike





Go listen to my band. We're awesome.

http://www.myspace.com/rosencrantzny
weallgotwoodandnails

eeeewwwwwww

isnt there another version of that?? something with a guy and his daughters and the guy picks the one thats dead or something.....


-amy
nine days of rain

"dude, i'm old" ~jeremy

Haha.. I like that first one, the one Lou posted.

And yeah, there another version of the nasty one... and it's just as wrong and gross as that one is.

i got another another another this one's good, i swear

ok, here we go

this priest, rabbi, and minister are working on an island in the pacific. the natives there say "ok, you can go and preach all you want, you just can't go into our sacred burial ground." they say ok and go on their way and everything is well and good for a while. so good, in fact, that a few months later they forget themselves and wander onto the burial ground. right away some native warriors jump on them and say "you entered our sacred burial ground and must be punished!" and so they take them before the great tribal warrior chief. the minister is the first one presented to him, and the chief says "you entered our burial ground and must be punished! you must choose... death, or bundha." the minister cowers before the chief and cries, "i don't want to die! give me bundha!" the warrior chief nods, stands up, and drops his loin cloth. he then proceeds to anally rape the minister for twenty minutes. next the rabbi comes. the warrior chief repeats, "you must choose.... death, or bundha!" and rabbi wails "i cannot die! i'll take bundha!" "very well," says the chief, and goes about anally raping the rabbi for twenty minutes. finally, the catholic priest. the warrior chief repeats, "you must choose.... death, or bundha!" the priest stands tall, holds his head high, and says "i have been in service of my Lord for forty years and have lived a complete life in hisname. therefore, i choose death!" the warrior chief looks at him, nods, and says, "very well... death by bundha!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA OH GOD I KILL ME
HAHAHAHAHAHHAA

-Mike





Go listen to my band. We're awesome.

http://www.myspace.com/rosencrantzny
weallgotwoodandnails

ooooh oooooh i have one!!!

so there are these two apples in an oven, and one apple says to the other "whew its hot in here" and the othere apple goes "AAAAAAHHHHH a talking apple"

Bahahhahahahahahahha hahahah
hahahahhahah

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Mike





Go listen to my band. We're awesome.

http://www.myspace.com/rosencrantzny
weallgotwoodandnails

where does the King keep his armies?







in his sleevies!!!!!



~SOFiA~

"you wont hear me, still you endear me, now..woo woo"

it's supposed to be muffins in the oven melissa!! lol!



rachel......

lol, i suppose muffins does make more sense.